MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

I am not a particularly handsome man, and yet for a while I was harassed by a beautiful woman I had met at a funeral. She was so intrusive in my life (one day I met her in bed), that my wife came to believe that I was involved with her. So I braced myself, and when I tripped over her again in an elevator, I let her know that I was happily married and did not want to have any extramarital affairs. The woman then smiled broadly, revealing long incisors. Then she pressed the stop button and pounced on my neck with her mouth wide open and eyes unhinged. The next thing I remember is lying in a hospital bed and a nice nurse asking me how the hell I had lost so much blood. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

First of all, you should consider that vampires do not exist. Or, in other words, they are non-existent. Non-existence makes it impossible for you to feed yourself, which causes your death by starvation. https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

Yes, indeed. They control all kinds of music, including the music of rappers. And this is because music is a powerful influence on youth. To control youth, it is best to control the music young people listen to. Already in Mozart's time, the Illuminati told him how his compositions should be. And once Beethoven got very upset when they imposed a “MI” instead of a “DO” on his Fifth Symphony. This affair led to a famous illuminati called Telesforus to invent country dance (which was originally danced on top of a cow) to counteract the influence of Beethoven's music, considered too revolutionary and mass agitator because of its many “DOs” and few “MIs. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

That is what they expect you to believe! But they are a very powerful organization that is dedicated to illuminating people from above with a gas lamp uploaded to a balloon or some other strange flying artifact. The goal of the ILLUMINATI is to illuminate the world with their light. They are extraordinary people like you and me, but they have a gas lamp and this balloon or artifact with which they fly over towns and cities illuminating people from above. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

They can exist but with a lot of effort, since they must pass from inexistence to existence, which is not easy. The same happens with vampires, declared enemies of zombies; and with aliens, declared enemies of vampires and zombies. https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Obviously because those who say that Succubi do not exist are financed by carpet sellers. The carpet industry moves a lot of money and pressure governments to hide the reality of succubi. If they admitted their existence, they would fight them and the succubi would stop invading the bedrooms at night to eat the carpet that covers the ground. So the carpets would last much longer and the carpet sellers would lose money. If the authorities do not admit the existence of the succubi, they allow them to roam freely and eat the carpets of the bedrooms of the people, which has to acquire a new bedroom carpet, which blooms the carpet industry. Do you understand?... And as for the other question: do you look like this guy in the drawing? A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Yes, especially when you chase them. There is a lot of gossip about the Bon religion. However, there is also a lot of gossip about my uncle Herbert, but who knows what is true about it! It is also said that each bon magician has enslaved a few demons who do the housework and sing lullabies to him before falling asleep. The first to make known this peculiar religion different from Tibetan Buddhism, was the Belgian-French Alexandra David-Néel. This explorer toured Tibet in the early twenties when this territory was still forbidden to foreigners. For this he had to go for a whole year disguised as a dragonfly. She was the first to unleash the rumor that Bon Tibetans ran like a bat out of hell. And this because once she saw from afar a half-naked Tibetan running across a plain at the speed of lightning. If she had kept looking, she would have seen that behind him came a gang of men armed with sticks, angry because the man had tricked them by exchanging a fake twenty srang coin for the body

Years ago, when my twin brother Ralph was still alive, I complain that lately I had the impression that someone was following me. Ralph, who was always a few steps behind me, attributed the impression to my paranoic tendencies. But as I insisted, he end up blaming my own shadow for the phenomenon. Naturally, I felt aggrieved because such an explanation amounted to taking me for an imbecile. So we started to argue heatedly in the middle of the street. After a few minutes, Ralph stopped shouting and stared at my back, speechless. I immediately turned around and surprised a semitransparent being with an extraordinary resemblance to Aunt Frances. That night, when we returned home, we learned that our aunt Frances had died a few hours before falling from a scaffold. (What the hell was my aunt doing on top of a scaffold, is another mystery that has not yet been clarified). A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

One of the most famous, although not the most reputed, was Claudia Poshnik, who was said to have many well-paid spirits at her service. In a state of trance, Poshnik summoned her spirits by telephone (a recent invention) and they obeyed her without question. (One of them, a certain Josh Milgrawe, once dared to contradict her and she dismissed him ruthlessly, so the poor spirit ended in indigence). Poshnik mixed in the high society of Boston, very fond of séances and bridge games. In fact, she was often required at the famous bridge games of Huntington mansion. It was rumored that Mr. J. P. Huntington amassed a fortune at the expense of his bridge opponents, who watched with some suspicion a continuous transfer of flying cards. Because of this, some rich Bostonians were ruined and ended in indigence. The medium herself ended in indigence when the magician and professional escapist Harry Houdini attended one of these sessions disguised as scarecrow and exposed the fraud. A small don

Because of levitation, we lost our uncle Noah a year ago. It is not that he died but that he ascended to heaven like the prophet Elijah if the comparison is allowed. As usual, the family was gathered around the shabbat table at my sister Greta's house. Levitation is a common phenomenon on such occasions, I do not know why. Rabbi Weizman states that it is due to the combination of the extraordinary saintliness of the members of our family. My cousin David thinks differently: according to him, the cause is the secret combination of spices that Greta uses for the cholent. The fact is that a year ago, on that sacred day, the window of the room was left open. We were all so engrossed in a heated discussion about the dietary benefits of reading the Mishna that we did not realize that old Noah had fallen asleep and had begun to levitate. When we realized, it was too late: uncle Noah was coming out the window. We all rushed to his aid, but when we reached the window, uncle Noah was alrea

I will explain it to you through an example and you will understand it right away. For this example I will use the detailed account of some paranormal facts that was recently sent to me by Frederick Hermite Sinclair, professor in the Department of Applied Archeology at the University of Edinburgh, Scotland. It says: I prefer to keep my name and credentials secret, so when I talk about myself I will refer to me with the word "I". A month and a half ago, the University where I work (whose name I prefer to remain anonymous as well) approved my project of excavation in the O'Malley Castle with a view to the end-of-course work of my forty-one students of Applied Archeology. In the company of three students chosen drawing lots (the budget of the department is not very buoyant in recent times, so I am forced to resort to this procedure too often), we moved in the van of one of them to the castle in question. It is a half-ruined medieval castle that has been abandoned for centur

H. Houdini was a famous illusionist specialized in escapism. But he is also known for having uncovered numerous fakes among the mediums who frequented the high society of New York. For example, on one occasion he unmask a medium who pretended to be in contact with a spirit named Alfred who played the tambourine and made capers. Already in his lifetime he had dedicated himself to this activity, thanks to which he allegedly became one of the richest men in New York, becoming associated with the banker J. P. Morgan in a famous number of vaudeville in which Morgan played the castanets. During the séances to which Alfred was summoned, a tambourine rattled endlessly floating around the room while a voice from beyond the grave exclaimed "alehop, alehop!". Houdini distrusted Alfred's story. In one of the sessions he demanded that the lights be left on, but the medium refused. Houdini pretended to give up, but in the middle of the session he slipped silently to the light switch,

Since its foundation, NASA is investigating the flying ability of brooms. But a conclusive verdict has not yet been reached. Preliminary studies suggest that only certain brooms (the flying ones) had the ability to fly. And in any case, at a low height, not exceeding six feet high, and in the understanding that the witch who was riding it should hold the broom in parallel to the ground and not lift her feet off the floor in any moment. https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Ha, ha, ha, it's as if you ask a milkshake if there are mikshake drinkers. Of course they exist! I have been abducted 13 times without counting other frustrated attempts (once I cheated on them by pretending to be a refrigerator, ha, ha, ha, I'm very proud of that). I explain to you how it works: You are so quiet watching TV or sitting in the park. Suddenly, plop, a powerful beam of light illuminates you, as if you were on a stage under a spotlight. And you go up at great speed. It's them, the aliens, who from their damn flying soucer sip you like with a straw. They sip and sip until you fall inside the flying saucer, where, if you are bald, you have an implant of hair and, if you are not, they make you a bizarre hairstyle and they dye it blue, but a blue iridescent, an unknown blue here in the Earth. Then they laugh at your appearance. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https

Yesterday, for the first time, I gathered enough courage to face a succubus. As always, he jumped in the window and pounced on the carpet while I curled up in a corner to whimper. But this time I began to reflect: What a shame! Science did not deserve this daily humiliation that one of Its most eminent representatives supported in His name. What would Einstein think about that? Then the cholera invaded me. I suddenly got up and began to rebuke the succubus. "Damn succubus (I exclaimed), do not you realize that you are compromising the credibility of Science? Science has Its rules, and according to those rules you can not be eating the carpet for the simple reason that YOU DO NOT EXIST !!” I thought that these last words would have an effect on him. But no: he was devouring the carpet indifferent to everything. It was disgusting to see him salivate with his mouth full of carpet threads. I became frenzied: "You do not exist !! You do not exist!! (I shouted) Does nonexistence me

As a scientist I have been asking this question for a while and there is only one possible answer: what does not exist does not exist, period. Do not be fooled by apparently existing phenomena. The non-existent PRETEND to exist but in reality it does not exist no matter how hard it tries. If you are in one of these anomalous situations and have any hesitation, consult the catalog of what exists according to Science. If that strange phenomenon that you are witnessing does not appear in the catalog, IT DOES NOT EXIST. IT PRETENDS TO EXIST. The non-existent may not exist but it is not stupid, it is cunning and will try by all means to make you believe that it exists. But do not be fooled: pretend you too, bluff, look the other way, pretend not to notice. It's what I do constantly. Look, I've been living in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, and I'm constantly the victim of one of these stubborn non-existent phenomena. The objects are blown up, the furniture craw

Make way for Science! This is a question for Science, not for Religion or Mysticism or for ancient or modern sages who believe in non-existent things such as the Soul, the Spirit, God ...! Why does not God exist? Because it does not appear in the Catalog of the existing produced by Science! Do you have any idea of ​​the number of years that it has taken scientists to develop this catalog? Because we have not made it by “eeny meeny mainy moe”, no. Each item in that catalog has been demonstrated at least a thousand times! Electricity for example. How many times has the existence of electricity been demonstrated? Countless times! Because electricity is a thing that can be proven! You can light a bulb through electricity. But can you light a bulb through the soul? ¡The soul, the soul, the whole world speaks of the soul! But has anyone demonstrated the existence of the soul ?! And do not come with philosophical demonstrations. Science requires tangible demonstrations: show me a soul, th

Now I speak to you as an existentialist philosopher: The non-existent exists, only that it exists in a non-existential or nonexistent way. So it is difficult to decide if non-existence is preferable to existence, since on the other hand existence can also be a nonexistent existence. In any case, if there were no other alternative, I would prefer existing existence. https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Make way for Science! Make way for the miraculous elixir that explains everything! Ghosts, poltergeist, succubus, aliens, paranormal phenomena in general, sea monsters! Everything is explained by Science with rational arguments and empirical evidence. Today, at the request of the respectable public, Science will solve a mystery of Cryptozoology! I mean that gigantic and elusive ape that lives in the woods and that goes by the name of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti! Watch! Observe with what argumentative simplicity I am ready to explain this unsolvable mystery with the help of this “explain-it-all” elixir which is the sacrosanct Science (God preserve it for many years!) A gigantic ape? Why not? Even a potato with legs could be explained by Science if that were the case! Because according to the theory of Strings everything fits in this infinite Universe made up of infinite universes! Imagine a planet populated by Bigfoots and, next to that planet, a wormhole that connects with our Earth. Bigf

Never! That would be a sacrilege, a betrayal of Science! In my already long crusade against paranormal and metaphysical phenomena I have never stopped applying the scientific method with scrupulosity. I'll give you an example. Last year I decided to spend my summer vacation in a town in the Midwest where it was said that there was a haunted house. Due to this bad reputation, the owner could not rent it, so he was very surprised when he saw me sign the lease for a month. The house in question was located just outside the town right in the middle of what had once been a Sioux cemetery. Modestly, I consider myself an outstanding disciple of the great Harry Houdini, the greatest unmasking of paranormal frauds that has militated in the ranks of Science. So, following the example of my teacher, the first thing I did was to review the rooms one by one in search of hidden devices that could explain the strange voices that were said to be heard at night. I did not find any, which does not m

To fit all physical phenomena so that they adapt to a Theory of Everything is not as simple as I had supposed. I have come to the conclusion that certain uncomfortable elements must be eliminated from the equation. For example, the Law of Gravity (a law very overvalued in my opinion). So that my colleagues do not accuse me of arbitrariness, I have not wanted to ignore the scientific method, and I have already taken twelve jumps from the second floor of my office. When I recover from my injuries and my bones finish welding I will keep trying. It would suffice only ONCE that, instead of falling, I would take flight, so that the damn Law of Gravity would be compromised. Thus, Science would be closer to discovering the desired Grand Unifying Theory. If only I could sleep at night, but the succubi still bother me. They do not even respect my convalescence! Damn succubi! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

I do not think the scientific community is prepared for my recent discovery. Even so, I am going to make it public, even if that makes me worthy of the hostility of my colleagues. After an exhaustive mathematical analysis condensed into 121 incontrovertible equations, I have come to the conclusion that the Earth is flat. "And the satellite images?" you ask, “and the testimony of the astronauts?” To hell with satellites and astronauts! Mathematic does not lie! 2 + 2 = 4 here and in Ganymede! ... By the way: another hell of a night! While I was contemporizing with a succubus that was eating my new carpet, the beam of light reappeared, but this time I could hide in time. Ha, ha, ha, I imagine the aliens' faces when they saw the succubus fall into their damn flying saucer! In any case, this should not distract me from my investigations. I must concentrate. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

I described in detail my encounter with the bigfoot to a couple of widowed gentlemen (I suppose they were widowed because they wore black) who kindly came to my house after reading in QUORA about the event in question. They were surprised to learn that my encounter with the bigfoot was just one of the many problems related to strange creatures that I have to face every day. I explained that almost every night I am visited by succubi who eat the carpet. And more from time to time, by aliens who suck me from their flying saucer by means of a straw of light. They were very interested in this last point and wanted to know if the aliens had implanted a chip in my brain or performed anatomical experiments with me. When I explained the horrible truth (that what they did was to submit me to a stilysh haircut), they said goodbye very kindly and left hastily muttering something about "lost time" and "nutty". I chased them a long way because I had not finished my explanation

It is an experience that I do not wish for anyone! They absorb you by a ray of light as if they were sipping through a straw. They sip and sip until you fall on their flying saucer. And there you undergo a hair implant operation. Then they comb your hair extravagantly and dye it blue and laugh at your appearance. It is very humiliating.  https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

Uh, this damn monster! What a fright he gave me. This happened many years ago, when there was not so much talk about the monster as now ... I had been abducted that morning by a flying saucer. Because of this, when the aliens released me on the shores of the lake I had a horrible look, with a vertical haircut all dyed blue (a blue unknown here on Earth). When I saw myself on the shore of the lake, the first thing I did was to dip my head in its waters with the hope that the dye would be diluted. THEN I SAW HIM. Under the water, meandering, with a kind of hamburger on the top of the head (his haircut was even worse than mine, so for a moment I thought he had also been abducted by aliens). Then we stare at each other. I had been holding my head under the water for several minutes, holding the breath, so my face had acquired a bluish color that matched my hair. Before the panic look of the monster, I jumped and ran in the direction of a tree, against which I smashed, falling senseless a

I am going to tell you something that happened to me two years ago and that I have not told anyone because of shame. One night I was in the Appalachian Mountains (do not ask me how I got there, I just know that I went to sleep in my bed in Barcelona and when I woke up I was on top of a mountain that I later learned were the Appalachians). I had not eaten for several days, so I decided to hunt some wild animal. To do this, with a few branches of spruce and resin I made an automatic rifle. I stood next to a path where I had seen some promising tracks (two footsteps of ape of one meter each). I remained silent for several hours, looking at the path through the telescopic peephole of my improvised rifle. Suddenly I heard a scream ... no, it was more like a shriek ... not a shout, half scream half shriek like those that throw in the opera. The rifle began to tremble in my hand. I thought it would be one of my regular night visitors: the succubi, which had followed me from Barcelona. I adopt

From my experience of almost every night, the succubi do not care about the gender of the carpet, they eat it anyway. I have tried to spread the carpet of poison, but for them it is like a sauce that still makes the carpet more palatable. To the point that they demand with bad manners that they are given such sauce-poison for rats. I do not know what to do anymore except to whimper in a corner while I watch how they devour the carpet. You will say: do not put carpet! Very clever! I had already thought about it. But have you seen an angry succubus? Damn succubus! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

I consider that Science is quite superb when trying to explain everything. Because the fact is that IT CAN NOT. For example: Can Science explain why, if I throw an apple into the air, it falls back instead of continuing to ascend indefinitely? Hey? What do you say to this, Harvard professors? I see that you have run out of words and it does not surprise me. In my opinion, Science should be a little more humble and recognize that it has no answers for everything. To give other examples: Why are the aliens so fond of hairdressing? Why do succubi eat carpets? Why do not the gtfdrps exist? What prevents it? Why is the Earth round? And why are tennis balls also round? Are they imitating the Earth? With what permission? ... They are unsolvable questions from a scientific approach. Before them, the scientist should bow his head and humbly recognize, like Socrates, that "I only know that I do not know anything." On the other hand, spiritualists should also be a little more sympatheti

No, they are not real, but they exist anyway. The Illuminati are extraordinary people like you and me,  with the only difference that they have  a gas lamp and a balloon or other strange flying artifact. Their goal is to illuminate the world with their light. To do this, they  travel through towns and cities illuminating people from above.  Here you can see an Illiminati illuminating the world with its gas lamp. If you knew the amount of Illuminati like this that plows our sky you would shudder! It is scary! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

The fifteenth time! Yesterday night, while I was in the middle of a brainstorming in a lively discussion with myself trying to find the unifying formula of Physics, plop !, I was suddenly illuminated by a very powerful beam of light coming from above. Due to my extreme mental concentration, for a moment I was dumbfounded thinking that they had just awarded me the Nobel Prize in Physics. I even got up and bowed ... until I started to get up and realized that I was being abducted again by those damn aliens. With a swipe of my hand I grabbed my papers full of equations and then I found myself for the fourteenth time sitting in a barber chair surrounded by those macrocephalic little aliens with black bulging eyes. I heard the barber's scissors click in their thin hands and I shuddered. A stupid inertia prompted me to order the type of haircut I wanted: a serious and discreet cut as befits a scientist like me. That order of mine (emptied, with a part in the middle...) unleashed a huge h

If a vampire bites a zombie, the zombie doesn’t turn into a vampire, but the vampire turns into a lady named Susan Flagherty from Philadelphia. But if a zombie bites Mrs. Flaherty, she becomes a vampire and the zombie becomes a gentleman named Carl Leonard from Boston. If Mr. Leonard bites Mrs. Flagherty, both become a ping-pong ball. But if it is Mrs. Flagherty who bites Mr. Leonard, he turns into a zombie and she becomes a night table. This I know for sure. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

I would face this phenomenon bravely! I do not want to show off as a hero, but more than once I admonished a paranormal phenomenon to disappear and to follow the principles of Science. I will only mention one case that almost cost me my life. I worked at the Brookhaven National Laboratory in NY (My specialty is particle physics). One afternoon I stayed working late. Towards midnight I left the laboratory to urinate. Apparently there was no one else on my floor. While I was walking down the long corridor plunged into my thoughts, I raised my head and stopped suddenly when I saw a ... (It's hard for me to write it because I do not believe or ever believe in it) a ghost. I know he was a ghost because he was semi transparent, and he lacked feet, which nevertheless did not stop him from moving back and forth, right and left and even up and down. My mind is too rational to admit what I was seeing, so I ignored it and resumed the march. Then the ghost began to move to all sides as if he d

To understand a certain intellectual position, you have to get yourself into the mind of your interlocutor, which is what I will do next with your permission. Let's see. From the creationist point of view, why did Evolution have to poke his nose into Creation?! Why did not he sit quietly at home watching TV?… Some of you will say: what nonsense! Why the nonsense? It is a questionable position, but as respectable as any other. That is why I consider the continuous attacks proffered against Creationism to be excessive. Evolution could have been a little more polite and knocked on the door of the Universe before interfering in the affairs of Creation. I think it is this lack of elementary civic education that has poisoned this debate.