MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

How is it that Leo Spit came up with something as extravagant as buying a carrot? What the hell did he want a carrot for? Could not he settle for the carrots he kept in the pantry? Why did he have to enter that grocery store? Here is an unfathomable enigma, one of many that raises the human condition. Leo's life would never be the same again. But he had been free to choose. He had been given the freedom to pass by or enter the grocery store. And, in use of his freedom, he chose to enter. And not only did he enter, but he did something as absurd as buying a carrot. You will say: "Ha, ha, what's so terrible about buying a carrot? Are carrots and vegetables in general dangerous?" Aah! I suppose you think you're clever. First of all, not all vegetables are equally harmless! The danger of a radish, for example, is much lower than that of a carrot. And let's not say a cauliflower! ... And secondly, it's not the same to buy a carrot from the corner grocer, that o

In the winter of 1937 an alarming news broke through in the headlines of New York newspapers: in Central Park there were wolves. At least the testimonies were unequivocal: the neighbors of the buildings that adjoined the park said they heard wolf howls at night. A cold  shiver ran down the spine of the New Yorkers, who stopped frequenting the park. The New York Hunting Club organized a night-time drive against the wolves. At nightfall, a half hundred armed men were distributed throughout the park. Towards midnight there was a long howl followed by the sound of gunshots, and the next morning the lifeless body of one of the members of the drive was found. A grimace of horror blemished his face while a mustache with curls upward at both ends embellished him. The coroner ruled that he had died either as a result of a fright or as a result of an unfunny joke that some unscrupulous guy had told him. In addition, it was discovered that the mustache was not his and that some unscrupulous guy h

As incredible as it sounds, you can live in New York and be a saint… Well, nobody in particular comes to mind right now, but that is explained by the fact that today saints use to lead anonymous lives. It was the same in the thirties. From that time only one name has arrived to us wrapped in a halo of sanctity: that of Phil Macroy. Macroy was a small, sickly Irish Catholic who worked as an accountant in an exporting company of tanning creams. Macroy's life was an exemplary life. He didn’t have any vice, with the possible exception of making paper airplanes that he threw out the window of the skyscraper where he worked with the secret hope that the authorities decreed the state of emergency. He always followed the same routine of going back and forth between work and home every day, including Sundays. (For this, he had to force the door of the office, which at the end of the year was a considerable expense for the company. But such was his ability to circumvent security measures th

Like the rest of the country, New York in the thirties suffered a terrible social scourge: unemployment. Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemilh had no material ambitions, hence much of their income was donated to charities that helped the unemployed and their families. The responsible for one of these charities, Father Gregory, priest of the Church of the Nativity, was the one who told them for the first time about a case of possession that affected his parish and that he had been managing unsuccessfully for several months. A couple of exorcists authorized by the archbishop had also failed in their attempts to solve the case. So Father Gregory requested help from the two partners of ENIGMA CONSULTANTS S. L. Before visiting the presumed possessed person, Father Gregory gave them background information. Emil Gresham was a middle-aged psychiatrist, single and without a direct family. He attended the religious services of the parish, which often meet his material needs since he had few cli

Lady Cardbridge is sitting very upright in an armchair in her Catskill residence. It doesn’t seem that the news provided by Michael and Jacob have left her satisfied. "Gentlemen, you promised to evict that ghost from my house. What does it mean that it’s not evictable? " "If I remember correctly, Mrs. Cardbridge, you told us that house was built by one of the first settlers who arrived to New York three centuries ago." "One of my ancestors" "I suggest that house has too many years behind it. Maybe it would be better to tear it down and build a new one in its place " "No way. That house is a familiar memory and not a single object is going to be taken out of it " "And then why do you want to take out the ghost? It should also enter the pack. Maybe it's as old as the house" "Not so old. You mentioned the names of Benjamin and Robert ... " "Do you have any idea who they are?" "Benjamin was th

Michael is reading the newspaper with his feet on the desk in the office of ENIGMA CONSULTANTS S. L. while Jacob tries to fit the pieces of a two-piece puzzle. “Hey, Jacob, the newspaper says that strange phenomena occur in the Bronx Zoo. How about we take a look?” “I was there just this Sunday with Maggie and I didn’t see anything strange.” “Who is Maggie?” “Your girlfriend’s girlfriend.” “My what?!” “I didn’t want to tell you not to demoralize you, Michael, but Violette is a lesbian. She goes out with you just to save face. Her girlfriend, Maggie, goes out with me for the same reason.” It’s worth remembering that we are in the thirties, when the majority of the population not only frowned upon homosexuality but was not even capable of conceiving such a phenomenon. When the Roosevelt administration launched a campaign to try to explain it, many Americans entered into a catatonic state and the campaign had to be aborted. A few hours later Michael and Jacob are walking around th

In their office of ENIGMA CONSULTANTS S. L., Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemihl deal with a client who asks them if they believe in extraterrestrials. “Extraterrestrials? I'm afraid not. I'm not even sure the Earth is round. Half of the world's population would be living upside down. Do you know the headache that would cause that?” “I think the Earth is shaped like a ball”, Jacob answers in turn. “You see?, your friend is better informed” “He means an American football” “Enough of nonsense. I don’t care about the stupid things you believe or disbelieve in. The point is that I am offering you a case on a tray in the name of the president Roosevelt. Take it or leave it” “Find out whether Albert Einstein is an extraterrestrial? And why has the president thought of us for that task? What about the CIA or the FBI?” “Or the NFL?”, Jacob adds. “Jacob, Einstein is not the Giants' new quarterback. He is a reputable scientist.” And turning to their client: “Why does th

The night begins to fall when Michael knock on the door of an old house in Harlem. "Why are you knocking?" Jacob asks. "Well, you never know. Imagine that there is someone inside." And then he proceeds to open the door with the key that the owner of the house, Lady Cardbridge, has given him hours before. Both penetrate the dark and narrow hall. Jacob fires a kerosene lamp, in whose light they move slowly. The interior is also very old, with furniture from past centuries and paintings blackened by the accumulation of soot and dust that permeates the entire house. Suddenly they hear a woman's voice clearly: "Benjamin, is that you?" -You see? There is someone in here. We should have waited until they opened the door. -Ghosts don’t usually open the door when one knocks, Michael. -Mrs. Cardbridge says it's a ghost, but that voice has sounded more like that of a flesh and blood woman. They both climb up some narrow stairs to the top floor. "Benj

A man of indefinite age and elegantly dressed whom for reasons of discretion we will call Mr. Northise walks up and down the New Yorker Hotel’s room 3241 where he is staying. From the sofa where they are sitting, Michael and Jacob watch him with curiosity. -Do you believe in curses, Mr. Shlimazl? -Why do you ask? -Because I am cursed, damn it! Don’t you believe me?! Look! Mr. Northise quickly approaches Michael and, leaning towards him, points to the tip of his own nose. -What’s the matter with your nose? -That it’s cursed, damn it! And the curse has spread through the rest of my body! -What makes you think that? Are you unwell? Do you have a fever? -Is it necessary to have a fever to be cursed, damn it?! -So you don’t feel any discomfort? -None at all! -Then I don’t understand -What do you not understand, damn it?! -The reason why you think you're cursed. He shows him again the tip of his nose with wide eyes and expressive gesture. Jacob can not avoid proclaiming: &q

Michael and Jacob in their office, seated in the company of a man in a sailor's cap. -Let's see if I have understood... You were sailing with a barge up the Hudson River when you suddenly disappeared from there and appeared on a vinegar pickle packaging company in Arkansas. -That's it. And now DERNY PICKLED GHERKINS asks me for a millionaire compensation for sabotage. -Because more than one thousand pickled gherkins jars have gone on the market completely empty. -Put yourself in my place. You are hungry and suddenly they start to pass through your hands piles of succulent gherkins. What would you have done? Here Jacob intervenes: “That’s reasonable. He couldn’t know that he had to put the gherkins in the jars.” But Michael replies: “But it took him a week to realize it!”. The man in the sailor's cap is getting nervous: -Listen, when you're hungry, you don’t realize anything. You see a jar and a lot of gherkins and you only wonder what the hell the jar is doing

Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemilh rented an apartment near his office in the Bronx. It is a large and fully furnished apartment that occupies the second floor of an old two-story house in whose first floor resides a man of about seventy years, of Italian descent, and whose only occupation apparently consists of spying on the neighbors above. But do not be fooled by appearances. Behind this gray and rude facade, a very different personality is hidden. Indeed, in these years (we are in the mid-thirties) have started to become popular the comic strips superheros each one with a secret identity… But let's go back to our protagonists. In the few days that Michael and Jacob have lived in their new apartment, they have realized two things primarily. One is that their neighbor is nuts. The other is that they have surplus space on the floor and, on the other hand, they lack money to pay the rent. In order to solve this anomaly, they have placed an ad in the New York Times requesting a

Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemihl wait in a luxurious lobby of a house on Fifth Avenue. -What are we doing here, Michael? -Coming to the aid of a client in distress. A butler interrupts, inviting them to accompany him. They climb marble steps and cross through a labyrinth of luxurious rooms. Finally they arrive to a large office where a middle-aged man is pacing the floor with an expression of concern. The butler invites them in. -Ah, gentlemen. You come from the agency ENIGMA CONSULTANTS, right? I'm glad you're here. Lately my life has become a nightmare due to an inexplicable event that is terrorizing the entire avenue. We are all terrified, that's the harsh reality. This is the reason why I love seeing you so much. With you here I feel more secure. -Well (Jacob says), it's funny because conversely we feel more insecure all of a sudden. -Don’t mind him, he is a joker -I realized immediately by his town fool's hood. But unfortunately it’s not a joke what

Night falls already when Jacob bursts into the office. -You know, Michael? A private detective has settled into the office next door. A tough guy with a gunbelt. -So what? -That perhaps we should also carry a gunbelt. After all, we are a kind of detectives -Consultants -Detectives, consultants, what is the difference? We both solve enigmas. -I’m afraid solving it’s saying a lot in our case. Anyway, our clients don’t need tough guys, but guys with brains -And do we have brains, Michael? -Never ask questions whose answer you wouldn’t like to hear There is a knock at the door. -Do I need to remind you every time that opening the door when someone knocks is good for the business? Jacob rushes to open. A man enters carrying a suitcase. -Is this where you solve enigmas? Jacob acts before the client like a tough guy would: “Well, solving, that’s saying a lot! But tell me, man, in what enigma are you involved?” The client turns to Michael: “What's wrong with your friend? And w

Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemihl have just settled into a messy office in the Bronx. They have invested all their savings in the creation of a consulting firm: ENIGMA CONSULTANTS S. L. Michael is sitting at the desk next to the window. Jacob drinks a soda sitting in a chair by the door. -Are you sure this will work, Michael? -Of course, Jacob. New York is full of strange phenomena. We won't lack clients, I assure you. Someone knocks on the door with knuckles. -Aha! What did I say? -Yes, you were right. The truth is that I didn't doubt at any time, you know. As you say, New York is full of phenomena ... Michael interrupts him: -Jacob -What? -Don’t you think it would be convenient to open the door to clients when they knock at the door? Maybe that’s the secret to making money with a consultancy. Jacob rushes to open the door. He opens it all of a sudden when the client is knocking again. The result is that Jacob receives a strong knock on the forehead and falls unc

N.Y. in the thirties When Michael Schimazl left the law office on W 79th Street, he couldn’t hide his surprise. His mouth and eyes wide open, the eyebrows arched, his erratic way of walking… everything revealed (apart from his idiotic nature) that he had just been the beneficiary of an unexpected inheritance. Who could be that Tom Corner who, on his deathbed, had left him a house in Brooklyn? He knew only one Tom Corner and that one was discarded because Michael was his worst enemy since, a few weeks ago, he had thrown him out the window. Of course, it had been an accident. The two were operators of a plumbing company and, after completing the installation in an apartment on the Upper East Side, they were enjoying the magnificent views of Manhattan from the open window when Michael noticed that his partner had untied a shoelace. He raised Tom's foot to tie it and the law of gravity, which is always on the lookout, did the rest. When Michael went to visit him at the hospital, To