Do you believe in vampires?

I am not a particularly handsome man, and yet for a while I was harassed by a beautiful woman I had met at a funeral. She was so intrusive in my life (one day I met her in bed), that my wife came to believe that I was involved with her. So I braced myself, and when I tripped over her again in an elevator, I let her know that I was happily married and did not want to have any extramarital affairs. The woman then smiled broadly, revealing long incisors. Then she pressed the stop button and pounced on my neck with her mouth wide open and eyes unhinged. The next thing I remember is lying in a hospital bed and a nice nurse asking me how the hell I had lost so much blood.

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