Episode 13: "A CHALLENGE TO A DUEL"

Wieland and Tieck stroll in the morning sun on a snowy meadow outside Weimar chatting amiably.
-It's been published in Italy the last Shelley book. A masterpiece.
-Yes, I've already ordered it from my bookseller.
-I can lend it to you. He is a sublime poet. He has nothing to envy to Byron.
-That’s true. By the way, I have not heard from Byron in a while. Is he still in Weimar or has he returned to England?
-It's funny, everyone asks about him. But he wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye…
-Why not? We Romantics detest formalities.
-I don’t. On the contrary: I think that Romanticism is not at odds with good education.
- Are you calling me rude?
-My gosh, Wieland, don’t be so sensitive!
- Are you calling me fussy?
Suddenly, Tieck gets irritated:
-I'm calling you asshole! What’s the matter?
-What’s the matter?! You’ll see what the matter is…
Wieland tries to take off a glove but does not succeed.
-These damn gloves! Why are they all so tight?
-What happens is that they are too small for you. You need a bigger size.
-My size has always been the same since I was ten years old!
He makes desperate efforts to tear the glove from his hand.
-Do you want me to help you?
-Yes, please, pull the fingers.
Tieck pulls Wieland's glove, but without success:
-This glove is attached to the hand. When was the last time you took it off?
- I haven’t taken my gloves off since my mother gave them to me when I was ten.
-So, I’d better lend you mine.
- Don't you care?
Tieck takes his glove off and hands it to Wieland.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Then Wieland throws the glove before Tieck signaling in this way his demand for satisfaction from the offender.
-Do you accept the challenge?
-If that pleases you...
-Choose weapon.
-Hot-water bottle.
-What did you say?
-Hot-water bottle.
-What kind of weapon is that?
-The ancient Germans defeated the Roman legions armed only with India rubber hot-water bottles, didn't you know that?
-Are you kidding?
-Ask Hegel.
-Alright. A duel with hot-water bottles. If asked, the survivor will say it was because of a woman.
-I’m fine with it.
-My seconds will come by your place tonight to negotiate the details.
-I thought you detested formalities.
-Alright, alright. There's no need for seconds. Let's meet right here at sunset.
-We shake on it.
Both shake hands.
-By the way, do you return my glove?
-Here you have.
- See you later, then.
The two men go separate ways.


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