THE BULB MAN

When Squattedman, in his character of François de La Rochefoucauld, showed up at the large warehouse on the outskirts of the Bronx where Thomas Edison tested his inventions, he ran into a strange phenomenon: Edison's head was lit as if it were a light bulb.

It was the time of the so-called “Battle of the Currents” between Edison’s direct current system and the Nikola Tesla alternating current system. Lately, Edison had been electrocuting animals, as well as everyone who was caught unaware, in order to prove that alternating current was extremely dangerous. And now Tesla had counterattacked.

Three nights ago, while Edison and his wife were sleeping, suddenly the bedroom lit up as if it were day time. His wife sat up in bed and blurted out:

“Turn off that damn light! I'm fed up with you! Tomorrow I will file for divorce!"

That was the drop of water that made the vase overflow. She continuously complained that her husband turned on the light in the middle of the night while she slept. Indeed, Edison was so proud of his invention that he often got up in the middle of the night to turn on the bedroom light. He stayed a long time watching the lamp like a lover would look at his other half, and then turned it off and went back to bed.

That night, however, he had not lit the lamp. In fact, he was deeply asleep. It was his wife's shrieks that woke him up. Naked and half asleep, he got up stumbling and went to turn off the light when he realized that the lamp was off. A creepy scream from his wife revealed to Edison the fateful news: He was all lit up like a Christmas tree!

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