MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

Minds talk incessantly for no particular reason. Yada-yada-yada-yada-yada. They are like a magpie. The truth is that they would be better off quiet. However, since they talk, let's try to find out what they're saying. To this end, it’s necessary to know the language of the mind. There are no language schools that teach this language, because it’s an innate language, like Latin. These privileged people who are born knowing the language of the mind are called ‘mentalists’ (if they read from left to right) or ‘psychics’ (from right to left). Those of us who aren't able to read minds are called ‘dimwits’ (from left to right) or ‘blockheads' (from right to left). To read minds profitably, there are several tips to keep in mind. First of all and before you start reading, take a quick look at the mind you’re gonna read and ask yourself what's the main idea. Most of the time it's something like “Don't do this to yourself, man” or “¿Has anyone seen my lipstick?” Next...

Above all, it must be checked that the experiment takes place under controlled conditions, which means that the viewer and the agent must be unknown to each other (although in exceptional cases they can be married). We accompany the agent to West Orange, New Jersey, making sure the viewer doesn't follow us. (If he does, we try to lose him.) Then we rush back to Brooklyn, making sure the agent is not following us. (If he does, we threaten to suspend him without salary. If he persists in following us, we try to lose him.) In Brooklyn we meet with the viewer, who in our presence must guess where the agent is at that very moment. If he says “West Orange, New Jersey”, he is the winner and is given a choice between a teddy panda or a taxi ride. However, before we got that done, we must check that the agent is still in New Jersey. If he has somehow managed to return to Brooklyn, then he is the winner and is suspended without salary. It may also happen that the viewer guesses that the agen...

It depends on what kind of tea and what kind of future we are talking about. Green tea is reliable as long as the cup is not too inclined when drinking it. On the other hand, I strongly advise against red tea, since its predictions are always disastrous and involve bloodshed. As for the future, if we talk about the immediate future (no more than two minutes) tea-leaf reading is reliable. Even so, the best tea-leaf readers can make mistakes. https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

Weird things. Once I pretended to unmask a famous clairvoyant. I went to his office and, after scrutinizing his crystal ball, he informed me that he saw a camel reading "The Capital" by Karl Marx. I could not help but laugh and told him to look better, that it would probably be a hunchback. But he insisted that the hump was that of a camel. Then I resumed the laughter and exclaimed that it would be a communist camel. The man was very indignant and threw me out of his office. He thought I was making fun of him, which was absolutely true. I and my colleagues at Brookhaven National Laboratory spent a whole day cracking up at the expense of the clairvoyant's vision. That reaffirmed me in my conviction that clairvoyance was a pure hoax. But the next Sunday I went to work overtime, and at the gates of my lab I found a camel with his head down, apparently reading an open book lying on the floor. You will understand my perplexity. I picked up the book with trembling hands and ...