MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

Today I have had the certainty. Today I’ve noticed their stinky breath in my neck. Now I know for certain that spies from all over Europe are stepping on my toes to discover if a normal human being (within what can be considered normal to someone whose great-uncle had been granted the title of Samurai by the very Emperor of France) could become the latest thing in the arms race. I'm afraid that some of them witnessed my sudden takeoff yesterday and now I fear for my life. So I’ve said goodbye to Gilberte and her parents hastily, and I've made the first excuse that crossed my mind. And of all the things to stick in my mouth it had to be my foot! I knew that in those days the newspaper L'Auto-Vélo was sponsoring the first Tour de France cycling stage race. And, I don’t know why, that's exactly what came to my mind. “I must return to Paris because I’ve just won the Tour de France and I have to go pick up the trophy” I said as if stupefied. I know! I know! It was nonsense! ...

Today, M. Swann, Gilberte’s father, has suddenly left the queue of the second water intake and has gone “for a walk", which has caused a commotion among the disciplined clients of the spa, who have interpreted this act of free will as a bad omen: a signal that an insurrection is looming or, God forbid, a war. After the second climb of the day, I went to see Gilberte who was queuing in front of the Sprudel geyser and she has pointed out to me that seven or eight individuals follow me everywhere. I wanted to play a joke on her and replied that she was being followed by eighty-six individuals, referring to those who followed her in the queue. But she didn't find it all that funny and she has sent me packing. Willing to check if Gilberte's statement was true, I turned suddenly. Indeed, a lot of people queued behind me. I don’t understand what their purpose may be. I am not a source of healing like hot mineral waters, as far as I know. Maybe I have become, without intending to,...

Yesterday we arrived at Karslbad M. Swann, Mme Swann, her daughter Gilberte and myself. We stayed in the Grandhotel Pupp, in separate rooms, and the first thing we did was to present ourselves to Dr. Hoenstrich so that he could examine us and prescribe to each one the type of water that suits us best. The Swanns have been prescribed the hot mineral water that flows from the main fountain of the resort, a geyser surrounded by a small circular pond called "der Sprudel", located in the center of the place. On the other hand, I have been prescribed water from a natural spring on top of a rock that has to be climbed. When I protested, the doctor showed me a gun that he keeps in a drawer. It's high season and the spa is overflowing with people. At each fountain there is a lot of patients waiting in line to drink a sip. However, no one queues before the rock at the top of which there is the spring whose water I must drink. I have informed myself surreptitiously and I have learne...