MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

A Brooklyn merchant showed up one day at the ENIGMA CONSULTANTS office to explain a very personal topic: "Every night a horrid woman tries to make love with me" "Sorry. We don't deal with such personal issues. I suggest you ask for a divorce. " "But I love my wife!" "Well, I don't think she would love you in case she heard you call her 'horrid woman'" At this point, Jacob intervened: “'Horrid woman' is not necessarily pejorative. But in view of the scant success of his assessment he decided to plead again the Fifth Amendment. "I don't mean my wife! My wife doesn't know anything about this! Luckily we sleep in separate rooms and she has a very deep sleep " "So there's another woman in your house ..." "Not! My wife and I live alone " "Are you implying that a woman sneaks into your house at night to make love with you without your consent ? "Exactly!" “That...

Obviously the succubi do not exist. The problem is that they act as if they existed. The last week I went to sleep after an exhausting backgammon game and a succubus came in through the window to ask me for a few cents. I panicked and started to whimper in a corner while the succubus ate the carpet. When I opened my eyes again, the succubus had disappeared and the carpet was all bitten. Damn succubus! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

Do not fool yourself! Sex is just an excuse! What they really want is to eat your carpet! Damn succubi! ...  Facts? Do you want facts? I will give you facts! They have horns, wings and a long thin tail to scare away the flies that continually surround them. They are so ugly that it’s scary to look at them. For that reason an effective means of combating them is to plant a mirror before their face while they are distracted by eating the carpet. When they see themselves in the mirror, they start screaming in horror and they run from one side to the other hitting the walls of the room like in a pinball machine until they collapse without consciousness. It is time to give them the final blow. Take a lit candle and light the tip of its tail as if it were a wick. While the flame advances, it is necessary to pronounce these words: “Succubus tucubus ubucus supurus” and to run in a hurry because, when the flame reaches the body of the succubus, it explodes as if it were a barrel of ...

Obviously because those who say that Succubi do not exist are financed by carpet sellers. The carpet industry moves a lot of money and pressure governments to hide the reality of succubi. If they admitted their existence, they would fight them and the succubi would stop invading the bedrooms at night to eat the carpet that covers the ground. So the carpets would last much longer and the carpet sellers would lose money. If the authorities do not admit the existence of the succubi, they allow them to roam freely and eat the carpets of the bedrooms of the people, which has to acquire a new bedroom carpet, which blooms the carpet industry. Do you understand?... And as for the other question: do you look like this guy in the drawing? A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Yesterday, for the first time, I gathered enough courage to face a succubus. As always, he jumped in the window and pounced on the carpet while I curled up in a corner to whimper. But this time I began to reflect: What a shame! Science did not deserve this daily humiliation that one of Its most eminent representatives supported in His name. What would Einstein think about that? Then the cholera invaded me. I suddenly got up and began to rebuke the succubus. "Damn succubus (I exclaimed), do not you realize that you are compromising the credibility of Science? Science has Its rules, and according to those rules you can not be eating the carpet for the simple reason that YOU DO NOT EXIST !!” I thought that these last words would have an effect on him. But no: he was devouring the carpet indifferent to everything. It was disgusting to see him salivate with his mouth full of carpet threads. I became frenzied: "You do not exist !! You do not exist!! (I shouted) Does nonexistence me...

I do not think the scientific community is prepared for my recent discovery. Even so, I am going to make it public, even if that makes me worthy of the hostility of my colleagues. After an exhaustive mathematical analysis condensed into 121 incontrovertible equations, I have come to the conclusion that the Earth is flat. "And the satellite images?" you ask, “and the testimony of the astronauts?” To hell with satellites and astronauts! Mathematic does not lie! 2 + 2 = 4 here and in Ganymede! ... By the way: another hell of a night! While I was contemporizing with a succubus that was eating my new carpet, the beam of light reappeared, but this time I could hide in time. Ha, ha, ha, I imagine the aliens' faces when they saw the succubus fall into their damn flying saucer! In any case, this should not distract me from my investigations. I must concentrate. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! ...

From my experience of almost every night, the succubi do not care about the gender of the carpet, they eat it anyway. I have tried to spread the carpet of poison, but for them it is like a sauce that still makes the carpet more palatable. To the point that they demand with bad manners that they are given such sauce-poison for rats. I do not know what to do anymore except to whimper in a corner while I watch how they devour the carpet. You will say: do not put carpet! Very clever! I had already thought about it. But have you seen an angry succubus? Damn succubus! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/