MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

Holderlin walks along the old country road just outside Weimar, the same as always. Also as always, he recites his poems aloud with a profuse display of gesticulation. It is already getting dark and the sublime poet is already heading towards Weimar, back to his house, when suddenly a powerful ray of white light coming from the sky falls on him. Holderlin stops suddenly when he sees himself lighted up in such a way. "Must be the Muses" he says to himself. And raising his head and arms to heaven exclaims: "Oh, Muses, what do you want from me?". Suddenly the ray of light absorbs him so to speak, and a few seconds later the distinguished German poet is immersed in a futuristic enclosure surrounded by tall and thin beings of humanoid appearance who observe him with curiosity. They wear tight-fitting dresses of a pale blue. So tight that they clearly trace the outline of female breasts. They are completely bald and beardless, but under their noses a fine mustache with th...

I will tell you how the Society for Psychical Research first heard about what we call today flying saucers or Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO), but in 1890 (when this story is placed) they still did not have a name. (The testimonies referred to them as "that"). It turns out that in Burnley, County of Lancashire, lived a man capable of interpreting the song "If Ever I Cease to Love" with the laces of his shoes. For Sir Henry Sidgwick, this was an unprecedented paranormal phenomenon. As Sidgwick was the president of the Society nobody dared to contradict him, and that is how an expedition was organized to the county of Lancashire. (For the musician in question it was impossible to travel since he lacked other shoes than those he used to make music and they went out of tune if he walked with them.) Early in the morning, the four members chosen for the mission embarked on a stagecoach surrounded by the expressions of affection and gratitude from the rest of the SPR mem...

You offend me, ma'am! I am a prestigious scientist. And not only the aliens have allowed me to see them but they have dyed my hair a fluorescent blue color and they have left me bangs! And then they started laughing while they pointed me out, which for a reputable scientist is an intolerable humiliation. This has happened to me dozens of times (Is for this that I pay my taxes?!), and on one of these occasions, Miss Bolkovich, my laboratory assistant, was abducted with me. She was also subjected to a horrendous haircut and the same striking dyeing. Back in the lab, she consented to me taking a photo as proof of the outrage received. Here I attach that photo with the hope that the competent authorities will take measures to stop these attacks on good taste. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Ha, ha, ha, it's as if you ask a milkshake if there are mikshake drinkers. Of course they exist! I have been abducted 13 times without counting other frustrated attempts (once I cheated on them by pretending to be a refrigerator, ha, ha, ha, I'm very proud of that). I explain to you how it works: You are so quiet watching TV or sitting in the park. Suddenly, plop, a powerful beam of light illuminates you, as if you were on a stage under a spotlight. And you go up at great speed. It's them, the aliens, who from their damn flying soucer sip you like with a straw. They sip and sip until you fall inside the flying saucer, where, if you are bald, you have an implant of hair and, if you are not, they make you a bizarre hairstyle and they dye it blue, but a blue iridescent, an unknown blue here in the Earth. Then they laugh at your appearance. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https...

Uh, this damn monster! What a fright he gave me. This happened many years ago, when there was not so much talk about the monster as now ... I had been abducted that morning by a flying saucer. Because of this, when the aliens released me on the shores of the lake I had a horrible look, with a vertical haircut all dyed blue (a blue unknown here on Earth). When I saw myself on the shore of the lake, the first thing I did was to dip my head in its waters with the hope that the dye would be diluted. THEN I SAW HIM. Under the water, meandering, with a kind of hamburger on the top of the head (his haircut was even worse than mine, so for a moment I thought he had also been abducted by aliens). Then we stare at each other. I had been holding my head under the water for several minutes, holding the breath, so my face had acquired a bluish color that matched my hair. Before the panic look of the monster, I jumped and ran in the direction of a tree, against which I smashed, falling senseless a...

The fifteenth time! Yesterday night, while I was in the middle of a brainstorming in a lively discussion with myself trying to find the unifying formula of Physics, plop !, I was suddenly illuminated by a very powerful beam of light coming from above. Due to my extreme mental concentration, for a moment I was dumbfounded thinking that they had just awarded me the Nobel Prize in Physics. I even got up and bowed ... until I started to get up and realized that I was being abducted again by those damn aliens. With a swipe of my hand I grabbed my papers full of equations and then I found myself for the fourteenth time sitting in a barber chair surrounded by those macrocephalic little aliens with black bulging eyes. I heard the barber's scissors click in their thin hands and I shuddered. A stupid inertia prompted me to order the type of haircut I wanted: a serious and discreet cut as befits a scientist like me. That order of mine (emptied, with a part in the middle...) unleashed a huge h...