MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

A Nazi film reel was recently found in Düsseldorf. The yellowed label on the can records its author (Heinrich Himmler, head of the SS and one of the greatest assholes in History) along with its title: ”The Stupefying Power of the Occult”. We already know the passion that aroused everything Occult in the feverish minds of the Nazi dignitaries. The restorers have only been able to rescue the initial sequence. In it we see a pointed hood magician (whose small mustache and constipated pig face coincidentally mimic those of Hitler) who is hell-bent on getting the secret recipe for pickled gherkins. According to the reports in his possession, this recipe is responsible for the blond hair and blue eyes of the Aryan race, as well as for their stinky breath. The magician is eagerly examining a gherkin while speaking to it in a sweet voice. “I love you" he tells it, and blushes. At that moment, the door is suddenly opened and an SS officer surprises the magician kissing the pickle with reli...

The most sinister figure in the annals of paranormal history is undoubtedly Heimrich Himmler, the head of the Nazi SS. In the world of the paranormal there have been many evil people. There have also been many assholes. But there has never been such a successful combination of both as in the case of Himmler. Already as a young man, when he was goose-stepping along with the Hitler Youth, the soldier who marched in front of him invariably ended up with pain in his butt due to the kicks that the asshole inflict him. In those march-pasts, Himmler raised so much the leg and with such thrust that, on one occasion, he did a back flip, which made such a good impression on Hitler (who was present witnessing the parade) that, noticing him for the first time, he started recommending Himmler for the highest positions in the Nazi hierarchy. Well, while the soldiers were dying on the battlefront, Himmler spent the war looking for "objects of power", like the sword of Damocles, the horn of...