MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

When the aesthetics of the Far East became fashionable, I changed all the decor and now that I am forced to stay home all the livelong day, I see that it was a bad decision. I find all this hodgepodge of porcelain, folding screens, golden Buddhas, incense sticks, exotic cushions ... Those dark furniture with gold stripes, the red lamps, this profusion of ornamental species... Everything is annoying to me. That's why I stay so long with my eyes closed, letting my imagination fly. And although imagination does not stop playing me bad tricks, I can not do without it. It's the only antidote I have against boredom. That and reading. But I also replaced my old library and now all the books I have are in Chinese Mandarin. I have to get rid of this obsession with fashion! Today I felt the need of making a getaway out of Paris and I moved through imagination to Fontainebleau. I was walking along the riverbank, but soon a flood came and plowed right into me, dragging me back to Paris. I ...

If my carefree life was already boring enough when I could move, imagine now that I am confined at home, convalescing from dislocations in both ankles. My friend Block comes to visit me from time to time and makes conversation. However, no matter how hard I try, tadpoles’ metamorphosis bores me dreadfully. If I paid any attention to his words, I would end up convinced that tadpoles are at the top of the evolutionary chain and we humans are just a subspecies. So I just look through him nodding from time to time. My imagination is elsewhere: in the gardens of the Luxembourg, in the salon of Madame de Villeparisis, at the Café de la Paix, having an aperitif with Gilberte… However, now, when I let my imagination fly, I am very alert. I always feel a crouching danger. That danger materialized on the same night that I was supposed to attend Mme de Guermantes' dinner. As I looked across the balcony at the bustle of the street, my mind wandered, and I imagined that I was present at that di...

Today I had been the recipient of a great honor: I had received an invitation to dine tomorrow at Madame de Guermantes’ mansion. "I'll be the talk of le Tout-Paris", I thought. Because not everyone who is part of “le Tout-Paris” can enjoy the privilege of being invited to dine with the Duchess of Guermantes. Even her own husband is not allowed that privilege every day. It is true that the invitation clearly stated that I should bring with me my own dinner, a dinner service and a chair to sit. Also, I would not be allowed to go to the bathroom under any circumstances and I would have to wash the dishes. But what did it matter? I could share a table with the Duchess! At last my dream was going to come true: I was going to enter high society! I would stop being invisible at social gatherings. People with a title of nobility would stop slapping on my neck and putting little stones in my shoes. I would be initiated into the mysteries of Parisian aristocracy. Templar secrets wo...