MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

Ha, ha, ha, it's as if you ask a milkshake if there are mikshake drinkers. Of course they exist! I have been abducted 13 times without counting other frustrated attempts (once I cheated on them by pretending to be a refrigerator, ha, ha, ha, I'm very proud of that). I explain to you how it works: You are so quiet watching TV or sitting in the park. Suddenly, plop, a powerful beam of light illuminates you, as if you were on a stage under a spotlight. And you go up at great speed. It's them, the aliens, who from their damn flying soucer sip you like with a straw. They sip and sip until you fall inside the flying saucer, where, if you are bald, you have an implant of hair and, if you are not, they make you a bizarre hairstyle and they dye it blue, but a blue iridescent, an unknown blue here in the Earth. Then they laugh at your appearance. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https...

As a scientist I have been asking this question for a while and there is only one possible answer: what does not exist does not exist, period. Do not be fooled by apparently existing phenomena. The non-existent PRETEND to exist but in reality it does not exist no matter how hard it tries. If you are in one of these anomalous situations and have any hesitation, consult the catalog of what exists according to Science. If that strange phenomenon that you are witnessing does not appear in the catalog, IT DOES NOT EXIST. IT PRETENDS TO EXIST. The non-existent may not exist but it is not stupid, it is cunning and will try by all means to make you believe that it exists. But do not be fooled: pretend you too, bluff, look the other way, pretend not to notice. It's what I do constantly. Look, I've been living in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, and I'm constantly the victim of one of these stubborn non-existent phenomena. The objects are blown up, the furniture craw...

Make way for Science! This is a question for Science, not for Religion or Mysticism or for ancient or modern sages who believe in non-existent things such as the Soul, the Spirit, God ...! Why does not God exist? Because it does not appear in the Catalog of the existing produced by Science! Do you have any idea of ​​the number of years that it has taken scientists to develop this catalog? Because we have not made it by “eeny meeny mainy moe”, no. Each item in that catalog has been demonstrated at least a thousand times! Electricity for example. How many times has the existence of electricity been demonstrated? Countless times! Because electricity is a thing that can be proven! You can light a bulb through electricity. But can you light a bulb through the soul? ¡The soul, the soul, the whole world speaks of the soul! But has anyone demonstrated the existence of the soul ?! And do not come with philosophical demonstrations. Science requires tangible demonstrations: show me a soul, th...

Now I speak to you as an existentialist philosopher: The non-existent exists, only that it exists in a non-existential or nonexistent way. So it is difficult to decide if non-existence is preferable to existence, since on the other hand existence can also be a nonexistent existence. In any case, if there were no other alternative, I would prefer existing existence. https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Make way for Science! Make way for the miraculous elixir that explains everything! Ghosts, poltergeist, succubus, aliens, paranormal phenomena in general, sea monsters! Everything is explained by Science with rational arguments and empirical evidence. Today, at the request of the respectable public, Science will solve a mystery of Cryptozoology! I mean that gigantic and elusive ape that lives in the woods and that goes by the name of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti! Watch! Observe with what argumentative simplicity I am ready to explain this unsolvable mystery with the help of this “explain-it-all” elixir which is the sacrosanct Science (God preserve it for many years!) A gigantic ape? Why not? Even a potato with legs could be explained by Science if that were the case! Because according to the theory of Strings everything fits in this infinite Universe made up of infinite universes! Imagine a planet populated by Bigfoots and, next to that planet, a wormhole that connects with our Earth. Bigf...

Never! That would be a sacrilege, a betrayal of Science! In my already long crusade against paranormal and metaphysical phenomena I have never stopped applying the scientific method with scrupulosity. I'll give you an example. Last year I decided to spend my summer vacation in a town in the Midwest where it was said that there was a haunted house. Due to this bad reputation, the owner could not rent it, so he was very surprised when he saw me sign the lease for a month. The house in question was located just outside the town right in the middle of what had once been a Sioux cemetery. Modestly, I consider myself an outstanding disciple of the great Harry Houdini, the greatest unmasking of paranormal frauds that has militated in the ranks of Science. So, following the example of my teacher, the first thing I did was to review the rooms one by one in search of hidden devices that could explain the strange voices that were said to be heard at night. I did not find any, which does not m...

To fit all physical phenomena so that they adapt to a Theory of Everything is not as simple as I had supposed. I have come to the conclusion that certain uncomfortable elements must be eliminated from the equation. For example, the Law of Gravity (a law very overvalued in my opinion). So that my colleagues do not accuse me of arbitrariness, I have not wanted to ignore the scientific method, and I have already taken twelve jumps from the second floor of my office. When I recover from my injuries and my bones finish welding I will keep trying. It would suffice only ONCE that, instead of falling, I would take flight, so that the damn Law of Gravity would be compromised. Thus, Science would be closer to discovering the desired Grand Unifying Theory. If only I could sleep at night, but the succubi still bother me. They do not even respect my convalescence! Damn succubi! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! ...

I do not think the scientific community is prepared for my recent discovery. Even so, I am going to make it public, even if that makes me worthy of the hostility of my colleagues. After an exhaustive mathematical analysis condensed into 121 incontrovertible equations, I have come to the conclusion that the Earth is flat. "And the satellite images?" you ask, “and the testimony of the astronauts?” To hell with satellites and astronauts! Mathematic does not lie! 2 + 2 = 4 here and in Ganymede! ... By the way: another hell of a night! While I was contemporizing with a succubus that was eating my new carpet, the beam of light reappeared, but this time I could hide in time. Ha, ha, ha, I imagine the aliens' faces when they saw the succubus fall into their damn flying saucer! In any case, this should not distract me from my investigations. I must concentrate. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! ...

It is an experience that I do not wish for anyone! They absorb you by a ray of light as if they were sipping through a straw. They sip and sip until you fall on their flying saucer. And there you undergo a hair implant operation. Then they comb your hair extravagantly and dye it blue and laugh at your appearance. It is very humiliating.  https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

I am going to tell you something that happened to me two years ago and that I have not told anyone because of shame. One night I was in the Appalachian Mountains (do not ask me how I got there, I just know that I went to sleep in my bed in Barcelona and when I woke up I was on top of a mountain that I later learned were the Appalachians). I had not eaten for several days, so I decided to hunt some wild animal. To do this, with a few branches of spruce and resin I made an automatic rifle. I stood next to a path where I had seen some promising tracks (two footsteps of ape of one meter each). I remained silent for several hours, looking at the path through the telescopic peephole of my improvised rifle. Suddenly I heard a scream ... no, it was more like a shriek ... not a shout, half scream half shriek like those that throw in the opera. The rifle began to tremble in my hand. I thought it would be one of my regular night visitors: the succubi, which had followed me from Barcelona. I adopt...

From my experience of almost every night, the succubi do not care about the gender of the carpet, they eat it anyway. I have tried to spread the carpet of poison, but for them it is like a sauce that still makes the carpet more palatable. To the point that they demand with bad manners that they are given such sauce-poison for rats. I do not know what to do anymore except to whimper in a corner while I watch how they devour the carpet. You will say: do not put carpet! Very clever! I had already thought about it. But have you seen an angry succubus? Damn succubus! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

No, they are not real, but they exist anyway. The Illuminati are extraordinary people like you and me,  with the only difference that they have  a gas lamp and a balloon or other strange flying artifact. Their goal is to illuminate the world with their light. To do this, they  travel through towns and cities illuminating people from above.  Here you can see an Illiminati illuminating the world with its gas lamp. If you knew the amount of Illuminati like this that plows our sky you would shudder! It is scary! A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

The fifteenth time! Yesterday night, while I was in the middle of a brainstorming in a lively discussion with myself trying to find the unifying formula of Physics, plop !, I was suddenly illuminated by a very powerful beam of light coming from above. Due to my extreme mental concentration, for a moment I was dumbfounded thinking that they had just awarded me the Nobel Prize in Physics. I even got up and bowed ... until I started to get up and realized that I was being abducted again by those damn aliens. With a swipe of my hand I grabbed my papers full of equations and then I found myself for the fourteenth time sitting in a barber chair surrounded by those macrocephalic little aliens with black bulging eyes. I heard the barber's scissors click in their thin hands and I shuddered. A stupid inertia prompted me to order the type of haircut I wanted: a serious and discreet cut as befits a scientist like me. That order of mine (emptied, with a part in the middle...) unleashed a huge h...

If a vampire bites a zombie, the zombie doesn’t turn into a vampire, but the vampire turns into a lady named Susan Flagherty from Philadelphia. But if a zombie bites Mrs. Flaherty, she becomes a vampire and the zombie becomes a gentleman named Carl Leonard from Boston. If Mr. Leonard bites Mrs. Flagherty, both become a ping-pong ball. But if it is Mrs. Flagherty who bites Mr. Leonard, he turns into a zombie and she becomes a night table. This I know for sure. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

To understand a certain intellectual position, you have to get yourself into the mind of your interlocutor, which is what I will do next with your permission. Let's see. From the creationist point of view, why did Evolution have to poke his nose into Creation?! Why did not he sit quietly at home watching TV?… Some of you will say: what nonsense! Why the nonsense? It is a questionable position, but as respectable as any other. That is why I consider the continuous attacks proffered against Creationism to be excessive. Evolution could have been a little more polite and knocked on the door of the Universe before interfering in the affairs of Creation. I think it is this lack of elementary civic education that has poisoned this debate.