MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

With the help of a grimoire, also called a book of spells. Grimoires were thick metal-plated hardcover books and contained all sorts of strategies to deal with demons and other evil creatures such as lawyers and real estate agents. From the most elementary strategy (hitting the demoniac creature repeatedly on the head with the grimoire until knocking him unconscious) to the most sophisticated (performing some magical passes or a comedy skit). Grimoires also contained instructions for making amulets with which to protect oneself from demoniac beings. Such amulets were worn around the neck or (if the amulet was very heavy) carried in a cart that was pulled by a rope. The heavier an amulet, the more effective. If you ran into a demon, you would grab the amulet and throw it at the demon’s head. Advice was also given to cast out a demon that had occupied a person. In one of the most famous medieval grimoires (the Picapatrix) the following instructions are read: “Take the possessed person by...

The light of the full moon contains an ethereal substance called ‘moonicaline '. If one is exposed to the full moon, moonicaline sneaks into the brain through the ear canals and stuns neurons in such a way that it renders them incapable of thinking according to the parameters of Aristotelian logic. They begin to think according to the parameters of the Dimimetric logic. Dimimetrous was a Greek from Corinth whom Zeus anointed with a thunderbolt when he was "growing chives." (Growing chives is a metaphor the Greeks used to refer to the sexual act.) As a consequence, Dimimetrous ceased to be able to count from number 5 to number 203408 inclusive. Neither was he able to use again any verb either in speech or in writing, and his thought began to revolve invariably around a certain wooden bucket with which he drew water from the well. Dimimetrous gave his name to what we now know as obsessive thinking. Thus, while the effects of moonicaline last, one becomes obsessed with a cer...

Whether induced by mushrooms, methane gas, or papaya juice, hallucinations are always paranormal. There are no normal hallucinations, get this into your head! Nowadays hallucinating has been turned banal: everybody hallucinates. Well, no! Hallucination is a very serious thing. I don’t recommend it to my worst enemy. A year ago I got lost in the Bronx and, following wrong directions, ended up wandering aimlessly through the Mojave Desert. I discovered that cactuses release a milky substance and I got to milk them and drink that substance in one gulp. I started hallucinating ... A spaceship landed on my head and minuscule astronauts dug a tunnel in my brain. "Puagh, this guy reeks of cactus!" I heard them say. Then they started planting weird ideas in my mind. Something about forcing everybody to become a bullfighter. Also something related to goose fat: "Oh, if everyone smeared goose fat on themselves, the world would be more livable!" Things like this. Before they l...

If the source is ‘The Forward' they are reliable. If the source is ‘Myths and legends’ they are not only unreliable but anyone who goes in search of such treasures deserves to be turned into a frog by an evil sorceress. In any case, since you are asking for my expert opinion, I will tell you that it’s unlikely that there are still undiscovered treasures. Too many holes have been dug for a treasure to be overlooked -if by treasure we mean something worth more than twenty dollars (personally, I refuse to exhaust myself digging a hole for less than twenty dollars, and that’s my last word on the subject). As for the giants, I think six heads are too many heads. Five-headed giants might exist, but certainly not in Brooklyn. I once met a drunkard in a harbor side tavern who assured me he had run into a multiple-headed giant in Istanbul. However, the giant was not guarding a treasure but a faulty shipment of vodka destined for destruction due to its excessive alcohol content. According to...

Perhaps the statements of the astronauts who walked on the moon could shed some light on this. "Then I heard a weird noise coming from the far side ... Are you familiar with the noise a taxpayer makes when squeezed by a tax inspector?" This statement by Buzz Aldrin gives us food for thought since a similar noise has been described in relation to haunted houses. Let's hear this other testimony by Neil Armstrong: “An unidentified flying object came out of the far side dragging behind it a banner announcing a well-known brand of detergent.” As it happens, haunted house owners are known to use the same detergent to remove ghost stains. Thus, everything seems to indicate that the moon is haunted. But if so, what would be at the root of this? According to the defenders of the ancient astronaut theory, in the time of the Pharaohs the moon would have been the scene of a bloody battle between the Pharaoh Amenophis III and the Anunnaki. It seems that, in his daily transit through h...

A man named John Burgess spent the nights in Highgate Cemetery with the hope of contacting some dead person, that is, a lost soul. For that tortuous way he aspired to be admitted as a member in the Society for Psychical Research (SPR). That was his great aspiration in life, but he did not have a qualification that would support him. He had tried to impress them by doing some somersaults, but Gurney was a much better acrobat, besides they did not need any acrobat at all. What they required -he was told- was someone who maintained contact with the dead. So Burgess made that decision to walk at night among the tombs, which for any other would have been unbearable, but not for him. Burgess was not afraid of anything except of his wife Mildred, and that only when she was present. In fact, that was an added reason to spend the nights away from home. He invented an excuse: he told her that he hunted owls and other nocturnal raptors. However, he never brought any wild game, to which he argued ...

When the senior staff of the Society for Psychical Research learned that the city of Savannah in Georgia had the largest number of haunted houses per square kilometer in America, an expedition was organized with that destination. They went to a real estate agent and asked him to rent the most enchanted house of all. The greatest specialist in haunted houses of the SPR was Frederic W. H. Myers, who for a whole year had lived with a ghost in his house in London: the spirit of a woman with an apron, cap and broom who had an obsession for cleanliness. At the end of the year he discovered that she was the cleaning lady that the SPR had provided him without mentioning it. In any case, this misunderstanding had helped him acquire the experience required to coexist with a ghost. The house they rented had a most dismal aspect, consistent with its long history of tragic events that had happened in it, the most recent of which had been the accidental drowning of its previous owner in a washbasin....

I am not a particularly handsome man, and yet for a while I was harassed by a beautiful woman I had met at a funeral. She was so intrusive in my life (one day I met her in bed), that my wife came to believe that I was involved with her. So I braced myself, and when I tripped over her again in an elevator, I let her know that I was happily married and did not want to have any extramarital affairs. The woman then smiled broadly, revealing long incisors. Then she pressed the stop button and pounced on my neck with her mouth wide open and eyes unhinged. The next thing I remember is lying in a hospital bed and a nice nurse asking me how the hell I had lost so much blood. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

First of all, you should consider that vampires do not exist. Or, in other words, they are non-existent. Non-existence makes it impossible for you to feed yourself, which causes your death by starvation. https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

That is what they expect you to believe! But they are a very powerful organization that is dedicated to illuminating people from above with a gas lamp uploaded to a balloon or some other strange flying artifact. The goal of the ILLUMINATI is to illuminate the world with their light. They are extraordinary people like you and me, but they have a gas lamp and this balloon or artifact with which they fly over towns and cities illuminating people from above. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Yes, especially when you chase them. There is a lot of gossip about the Bon religion. However, there is also a lot of gossip about my uncle Herbert, but who knows what is true about it! It is also said that each bon magician has enslaved a few demons who do the housework and sing lullabies to him before falling asleep. The first to make known this peculiar religion different from Tibetan Buddhism, was the Belgian-French Alexandra David-Néel. This explorer toured Tibet in the early twenties when this territory was still forbidden to foreigners. For this he had to go for a whole year disguised as a dragonfly. She was the first to unleash the rumor that Bon Tibetans ran like a bat out of hell. And this because once she saw from afar a half-naked Tibetan running across a plain at the speed of lightning. If she had kept looking, she would have seen that behind him came a gang of men armed with sticks, angry because the man had tricked them by exchanging a fake twenty srang coin for the body...

One of the most famous, although not the most reputed, was Claudia Poshnik, who was said to have many well-paid spirits at her service. In a state of trance, Poshnik summoned her spirits by telephone (a recent invention) and they obeyed her without question. (One of them, a certain Josh Milgrawe, once dared to contradict her and she dismissed him ruthlessly, so the poor spirit ended in indigence). Poshnik mixed in the high society of Boston, very fond of séances and bridge games. In fact, she was often required at the famous bridge games of Huntington mansion. It was rumored that Mr. J. P. Huntington amassed a fortune at the expense of his bridge opponents, who watched with some suspicion a continuous transfer of flying cards. Because of this, some rich Bostonians were ruined and ended in indigence. The medium herself ended in indigence when the magician and professional escapist Harry Houdini attended one of these sessions disguised as scarecrow and exposed the fraud. A small don...

H. Houdini was a famous illusionist specialized in escapism. But he is also known for having uncovered numerous fakes among the mediums who frequented the high society of New York. For example, on one occasion he unmask a medium who pretended to be in contact with a spirit named Alfred who played the tambourine and made capers. Already in his lifetime he had dedicated himself to this activity, thanks to which he allegedly became one of the richest men in New York, becoming associated with the banker J. P. Morgan in a famous number of vaudeville in which Morgan played the castanets. During the séances to which Alfred was summoned, a tambourine rattled endlessly floating around the room while a voice from beyond the grave exclaimed "alehop, alehop!". Houdini distrusted Alfred's story. In one of the sessions he demanded that the lights be left on, but the medium refused. Houdini pretended to give up, but in the middle of the session he slipped silently to the light switch, ...

Since its foundation, NASA is investigating the flying ability of brooms. But a conclusive verdict has not yet been reached. Preliminary studies suggest that only certain brooms (the flying ones) had the ability to fly. And in any case, at a low height, not exceeding six feet high, and in the understanding that the witch who was riding it should hold the broom in parallel to the ground and not lift her feet off the floor in any moment. https://blog.feedspot.com/humor_blogs/

Never! That would be a sacrilege, a betrayal of Science! In my already long crusade against paranormal and metaphysical phenomena I have never stopped applying the scientific method with scrupulosity. I'll give you an example. Last year I decided to spend my summer vacation in a town in the Midwest where it was said that there was a haunted house. Due to this bad reputation, the owner could not rent it, so he was very surprised when he saw me sign the lease for a month. The house in question was located just outside the town right in the middle of what had once been a Sioux cemetery. Modestly, I consider myself an outstanding disciple of the great Harry Houdini, the greatest unmasking of paranormal frauds that has militated in the ranks of Science. So, following the example of my teacher, the first thing I did was to review the rooms one by one in search of hidden devices that could explain the strange voices that were said to be heard at night. I did not find any, which does not m...

I described in detail my encounter with the bigfoot to a couple of widowed gentlemen (I suppose they were widowed because they wore black) who kindly came to my house after reading in QUORA about the event in question. They were surprised to learn that my encounter with the bigfoot was just one of the many problems related to strange creatures that I have to face every day. I explained that almost every night I am visited by succubi who eat the carpet. And more from time to time, by aliens who suck me from their flying saucer by means of a straw of light. They were very interested in this last point and wanted to know if the aliens had implanted a chip in my brain or performed anatomical experiments with me. When I explained the horrible truth (that what they did was to submit me to a stilysh haircut), they said goodbye very kindly and left hastily muttering something about "lost time" and "nutty". I chased them a long way because I had not finished my explanation ...

If a vampire bites a zombie, the zombie doesn’t turn into a vampire, but the vampire turns into a lady named Susan Flagherty from Philadelphia. But if a zombie bites Mrs. Flaherty, she becomes a vampire and the zombie becomes a gentleman named Carl Leonard from Boston. If Mr. Leonard bites Mrs. Flagherty, both become a ping-pong ball. But if it is Mrs. Flagherty who bites Mr. Leonard, he turns into a zombie and she becomes a night table. This I know for sure. A small donation for needy children in exchange for this story? Click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it! https://blog.feedspot.com/funny_blogs/

I would face this phenomenon bravely! I do not want to show off as a hero, but more than once I admonished a paranormal phenomenon to disappear and to follow the principles of Science. I will only mention one case that almost cost me my life. I worked at the Brookhaven National Laboratory in NY (My specialty is particle physics). One afternoon I stayed working late. Towards midnight I left the laboratory to urinate. Apparently there was no one else on my floor. While I was walking down the long corridor plunged into my thoughts, I raised my head and stopped suddenly when I saw a ... (It's hard for me to write it because I do not believe or ever believe in it) a ghost. I know he was a ghost because he was semi transparent, and he lacked feet, which nevertheless did not stop him from moving back and forth, right and left and even up and down. My mind is too rational to admit what I was seeing, so I ignored it and resumed the march. Then the ghost began to move to all sides as if he d...