MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

Strange things are given strange names, what's so strange about it? My cousin is a strange guy and that’s why he is called Velvel, which means ‘little wolf’ in Yiddish. If my cousin were a cool guy, his name would be George, which means ‘george'. That’s the reason why when someone moves objects about, it is called ‘to relocate', while if objects move about on their own it’s called ‘poltergeist’. Do you understand? When you are seeing things that are happening under your very nose, this phenomenon is called ‘seeing things happening right under your nose'. On the other hand, if you see things that happen 500 miles away, then it’s called ‘clairvoyance’. One last example so you fully understand... The phenomenon of reading a book is called ‘reading a book’, but if what you read is the mind of another it’s called ‘telepathy’. 

Start by trying to read the thought of inanimate objects, like a stone, or a joss stick of incense, or, say, a bulldozer. Then go increasing the difficulty by ascending the scale of living beings. Try to telepathically convince a field mouse to dance a Russian dance. Next you break a law and try to convince a marsupial not to denounce you to the police. If the denunciation does not occur, that is good news, not only because you are not going to jail, but also because you are beginning to master the technique. Now you can dare to telepathically transmit a thought to a human being. Start with human beings who are not very thoughtful. Try to persuade them to go to the bathroom. This may take some time to achieve, but success is guaranteed. Finally, face an individual whose mind is full of thoughts so that you have to push your way through that tangle of ideas. Try to convince him of the need to give you fifty dollars. If you succeed, increase the figure more and more, until he is forced t...

Telepathy generated a lot of quarrels within the Society for Psychological Research. And not because their members did not agree on their existence: they were all convinced of it. Everything was the fault of a dreadful gossip with extraordinary telepathic gifts. The SPR, which had informants all over England, was informed of the existence of a certain Leonard Onion who guessed the thoughts of the people around him. Before inviting him to spend a week in the SPR’s headquarters, Sir Oliver Lodge should have noticed that Mr. Onion never had people around him. People fled from him like from the plague! The fact is that, as soon as Mr. Onion was surrounded by the respectable members of the SPR, his mind began to capture the most intimate thoughts of each one of them. Through this unique medium he learned of the true opinion that each member had of his colleagues, and ignoring the favorable opinions, he dedicated himself to place moles among the members. Henry Sidgwick took offence at Charl...