MISTER MYSTERY RESPONDS

"Stop!" Evron orders. “We have enough matter with this phrase.” The Golem obeys immediately and is paralyzed with the open book in his hands. The wise men of Chelm do not take his eyes off him, who seems to have disconnected from everything around him. "It's really odd", Feivel says. "Well (Evron states), all Zohar quotes are odd. That's the reason why we are here: to decipher them." "I mean the Golem. When you have said 'stop' he has become petrified." "And what did you expect? That he would cut and run like the previous reader? This is not Mordekai! (Zal er hobn a zis toyt; a fur mit tsuker zol im loyfn: ‘May he have a sweet death; a truck filled with sugar should run him over’) This is a Golem! He obeys everything you order. It's his nature." "Can I do a test?", Elijah asks. "Neyn. We're here to analyze the Kabbalah, not the Golem." "The Kabbalah’s quote doesn’t have much myste...

“This is a beautiful phrase. Let's stop here to reflect”, Evron propose, and immediately Mordekai takes advantage of the break to go outside. “Why every time I say stop, does this guy run away? I don’t get it.” Dudel ventures an answer: “He must be nuts. You know: knowing how to read doesn't make you wise. The world is full of idiots who can read. But that's not the point. The point is to understand what you read.” “Very well put, Dudel." Evron reiterates his proposal: “So, let's try to understand this sentence: ‘Within the most hidden, a dark flame issued forth'.” “I guess it has to refer to something. But who knows what!” “I agree. There is a meaning there, in the most hidden. I feel it!” “Perhaps the dark flame is a symbol”, Dovid suggests. “You mean a symbol of something?”, Feivel asks. “Why? I wonder why a symbol must necessarily be a symbol of something. Why can't it be a symbol of anything? Why can't it simply be a symbol?” “A symbol ca...

The cemetery of the village of Chelm is located on the outskirts of Chelm, and in turn the outskirts of Chelm are located where the cemetery is. Thanks to this fortunate coincidence, when you go to the outskirts of Chelm, you necessarily go to the cemetery and when you go to the cemetery you must necessarily go to the outskirts of Chelm. This is a very convenient situation because, those villagers in Chelm who have the bad luck to die, are ashamed to say they are dead, and in this way they can always say that they have gone to live on the outskirts. And this situation is not only convenient for the deceased, but it is also useful to the wise men of Chelm on this particular occasion. Because, when their neighbors see them stone-faced parading all together through the main streets at nightfall and ask them where they are going, they respond "to the outskirts". They have obviously done their homework, that is to say, they have spent the day listening to Mordekai read passages ...

“Stop!", Evron exclaims, and Mordekai stop reading and runs away to play with Evron's children. (This time, the meeting is not held at the town hall but at Evron's house.) “Ah, this is very profound, indeed. So profound that if it were a deep well and we threw a stone in it, we wouldn’t hear its collision with the water.” Everyone stares at him, stunned. “Why do you look at me that way? It has been said: You look like a meshugener (mad man) feeding a lamb.” Suddenly, Pesha, Evrom's wife, is heard shouting: “Evrom! Evrom! ” Evron jumps from his seat like a flunkey: “What happens, daughter of Judah? Peace be with you!” And rushes out of the room. Chelm elders start whispering: “What’s the matter with Evrom? He speaks in a weird way. It seems he has been infected by Kabbalah’s style." “Kabbalah has gone straight to his head!" “Oy gevalt! He’s drunk with Kabbalah!" “Maybe he is becoming a kabbalist! A Yiddisher kabbalist!” “Maybe he's becoming ...

There is a long silence after Mordekai has read this phrase and run out to the street. Eventually, Elijah take the floor: “It seems to me that this phrase is reversed.” “What do you mean?”, Evron asks. “It should say ‘As below, so above' and not ‘As above, so below'.” “Are you gonna find fault with the Kabbalah?” “Actually both sentences are right. It all depends on the point of view, that is whether you are up or down.” “What if it catches you in the middle?”, Feivel blurts out. It is Dudel who answers: “Then you've got a big problem and you will not find where to relief yourself. Last February, Avrom Zangwill left his house in the middle of a storm, but halfway to his brother's house he was paralyzed. Lightning had struck him and he could not move forward or backward! And he had a full bladder!” “And what did he do?” “Well, you can imagine it. When the lightning effect passed, it was already too late. That’s why it’s convenient to always have a potty at hand....

«Stop here!» , Evron orders Mordecai, the young Lublin reader hired by the wise men of Chelm to read the Zohar. «We will think about this quote.» «I don't know what we have to think about. The thing is clear as day» Elijah says. «Then, explain it to the rest of us idiots, if you are so kind.» "Well, it's very simple. He says we should go to the cemetery to listen to the dead." There is a great deal of confusion and shouting. Evron climbs into a chair and from there tries to reassure the others: «Folks, calm down! Calm down and let me speak!» Gradually, the congregation settles down and the wise men of Chelm listen to Evron who addresses them standing on the chair: “Elijah has had little tact in saying it so abruptly. But I also think that this is what Kabbalah demands from us.” These words cause quite a stir. "Listen", Evron continues, “We’ll appoint a delegation to go to the cemetery tonight in order to hear what the dead have to tell us.” A commot...

Once Mordekai has read aloud this phrase from the Zohar, he goes outside and the wise men of Chelm are left in the town hall holding this hot potato. The first to speak is Elijah: “The first thing that should be clarified here is which Jacob”. “What do you mean by ‘which Jacob'?” Evrom asks. “Do you know how many Jacobs are in the world?!”, Elijah answers back. “No. How many?” “Well, I haven't counted them but ...” Chatzkel interrupts him: “I have! I have!” “Do you have what?” “I have counted them! And the exact number is a lot.” “Are you sure about that? Don't you forget any?” “Yes, you forget my brother-in-law”, Dudel says. “You mean Dovid?” “Neyn. The other one: Hendel’s husband. He is named Jacob.” “And there is also Jacob the fiddler", someone says. "And Jacob Aksenfeld", adds another. “Who is that?” “Don't you remember Aksenfeld? The one who emigrated to America to make his fortune but he messed up and made somebody else's fortun...

Mordekai approaches his eyes to the open book until he crushes his nose against it: “What on earth is written here? The ink has run. I cannot distinguish well the last word. 'And he called the darkness...” Elijah hurries to help: “Let's see. Let me see ...” He pushes Mordekai to make room for himself, but Mordekai resists him. “Back off, bobkes!” , Elijah suddenly exclaims, “How do you want me to look if you don't back off?!” Mordekai backs off, and Elijah takes out a huge magnifying glass with which he examines the dim word carefully. Suddenly, he stands straight and exclaims: “Porpoise! It says ‘porpoise’! Poter nu (No doubt)” But Evrom is skeptical: “‘And he called the darkness porpoise?’ That makes no sense.” “Maybe it does, but it's such a dark quote!”, Chatzkel observes. “Neyn! It says light”, says Mordekai who has been examining the text again with his nose crushed against the page. “Doesn’t say anything about porpoises.” “‘And he called the darkness ...

The reading of Mordekai is abruptly interrupted by an exclamation uttered by Feivel. “What's the matter?” Evrom asks. “I recognize that phrase! ‘The beard of thuth’. It is from Shmelka the barber. He created it as an appeal for his business.” “What are you saying? That Kabbalah copied Shmelka's phrase?” “That's exactly what.” “And won't it be that Shmelka appropriated the quotation to use it as an advertising slogan for his barbershop?” “Neyn! Shmelka wouldn't do that.” “Dovid, please, go to Shmelka's barbershop and tell him to come immediately to the town hall. Let's clear this up once and for all!” Meanwhile Feivel insists: “I know Shmelka and he would never lie about such a thing. I don't know Kabbalah, so I trust Shmelka more. He is an honest man.” “And what is Kabbalah?! A scoundrel?!” “I wouldn't risk my neck for Kabbalah because I don't know her.” “Kabbalah was written by Shimon bar Yochai!” Evrom screams. “Who is that?” “Don...

After reading aloud this phrase in the “Zohar”, the young Mordekai of Lublin takes to the streets to play with the other boys, leaving the wise men of Chelm discussing its meaning. "The meaning is obvious" Elijah says, "I guess there is nothing more to say." "Oh yeah? What head does it mean?” Dudel asks. "The head which is incomprehensible, without a doubt." "Then, it must refer to your head." "To yours!" Elijah and Dudel engage in a fight and roll across the floor. Evrom stares at them a long time. Until suddenly his whole face lights up and, pointing to the fighters, he proclaims: "There it is!” “Which thing?” “The meaning!" “The meaning is a fight?”, another of the wise men asks skeptically. "A fight inside a head!" Evrom clarifies. “But why do they fight?” "That's the ‘secret in secret’” Evrom stresses. And then adds: “Elijah was right: the meaning is obvious and there is nothing to say....

The Jewish elders say that God commissioned an angel to spread a set of foolish souls throughout the Earth. The angel put those souls in a sack and headed for Earth, with such bad fortune that he tripped and all the souls fell in the same place. This is said to be the origin of the town of Chelm. It had long since that unfortunate incident had happened, but at the beginning of the 20th century, the inhabitants of Chelm continued to retain the reputation of fools, of which they were extremely proud. One day a peddler came to Chelm loaded with a sack full of imperishable goods which he exhibited in the town square. Inside the sack there was a book that by force of habit the peddler placed among the rest of the merchandise. If he had stop and think, he would not have bothered to take out the book from the sack, for everyone knew that the inhabitants of Chelm presumed not knowing how to read. However, a villager named Elijah insisted on buying the book. It was useless that the peddler advi...

When the second defenestration of Arthur Schopenhauer took place, Novalis was newly arrived from Jena. All his friends from Weimar were eager to learn about the news that the young poet brought from that other pole of attraction of the Romantic movement. The group of friends is gathered in a tavern. -Tell us, tell us! -In the University of Jena there is a teacher who gives Kabbalah classes. -Kabbalah? The secret science of the Hebrews? -Fortunately, it begins to be less secret. Did you know that Kabbalists believed in the transmigration of souls? One of the young men who form his audience jumps suddenly: -My soul is eager to transmigrate to America. But my parents won’t let me. The others correct him: -Don’t be dumb. What you say is emigration. And, as far as I know, soul and body migrate together. What would your soul do in America without your body? -Ha ha! He has the illusion of “making it in America”. -But to “make it in America”, you have to have a body. Otherwise, they...